Omnomicon

Hai guise!

So even though it’s not a breakfast food, guess what: I’m making chili with you today. It most certainly is a diner dish, and therefore not entirely out of line with that little theme I have going. A theme, I might add, that is probably only two weeks from expiry, as I’m not entirely sure I have clever little recipe tricks for the really good stuff on the menu, other than to buy the Heart Healthy variation of the usual pancake mix, which seems to amount to a smaller serving size on the label and some cellulose gum to add fake fiber. (Well, I guess the fiber is real, but it’s not exactly whole-anything).

Alright, first you need your BEP. What’s a BEP? Why, I’m so glad you asked!

It’s a BIG EFFIN POT! I was going to name it something a little more literal (think BFP), but I have been linked from other blogs with the caveat that the LANGUAGE on this WEBSITE is NOT AMUSING, and I’d hate to piss off anyone who has such kind and thoughtful things to say about my website. The more faint-of-heart might wish to refer to their BEP as a BOP, or BIG OLE POT. In addition to making for a far superior acronym, it’s also something you can share with your loving children. On a side note, BEPs are one of the most useful things you can have, if you don’t already. Verily, they are the LBDs of the kitchen.

In this case, the BEP is somehwat pivotal, as we have a fairly large amount of stuff that really wants to stain your walls/stovetop/white blouse/microwave, bubbling up as it simmers and you lean over to give it the occasional stir. So please, do yourself a favour and bust it out.

Alright, recipe time! I made generic labels for my canned goods because I always thought it was kind of stupid and funny and obvious when they did that in kids’ shows back in the day.

Also, you sadly can’t read it, but that salsa jar says “The party’s on, Wayne, I brought the SALSA!” That one was my favourite. =(

Now chop an onion. Press some garlic. Sautee in some oil. It took me a long time to learn this, so I offer this PSA for anyone who doesn’t already know: don’t press your garlic into the pan before you add the onion. You are begging for burnt, bitter-ass garlic that really does nothing good for your food. Press the garlic into your pile o’onions, and add both at the same time.

And knowing’s half the battle.

I swear, I could take a thousand pictures of onions and garlic sauteeing in a pan, and I would love every single one as though it were my own, real live baby. Nothing in the world smells better.

NEXT! Add some meat n stuff in there.

Unlike cooking onions and garlic, I have a feeling that providing a picture of raw ground meat is a lot like letting someone watch you put on pantyhose . . . it’s only sexy after it’s done, and only in the context of other *stuff*.

See now, that there, is totally like, after you’ve put on the pantyhose, but before your svelte little dress is on. BUT

There we go. We’re getting somewhere.

So this is a wonderful chili in its own right. It’s downright edible even if you have no intention of losing a single ounce, and, rather than being just low-calorie, is actually good for you! Loads of veggies, protein and fiber in there, nothing at all fake . . . and so completely undeniably filling. Seriously, a cup of this stuff is probably the most gut-busting cup of anything you can eat.

The recipe makes about 7 servings, but if you wanna bump it up to 8 for no detectable increase in calories, throw in a chopped pepper or another onion or something. These servings freeze well, but if you don’t have room in there for your entire Gladware collection, break up the monotony of leftovers by enjoying 2 Point Tacos! That’s right, this already-incredible chili makes one heckuva taco. Just add one regular taco shell to 1/4c of this stuff. Cheese and lettuce might be nice, but not necessary.

Mmmmm.

Turkey Taco Chili

1 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced or pressed
1.25 lbs ground turkey (93/7 works best)
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp cumin (this is the secret to making the chili taste taco-like)
2 tsp salt
28oz can of diced or stewed tomatoes
14oz can of dark red kidney beans, rinsed (or any other red bean you have on hand)
3/4 c hot salsa

Heat up the oil over medium heat, then add onions, then garlic, and saute for a couple minutes. Add the turkey, chili powder, cumin and salt and break up the turkey with a scoop, until it is no longer pink. Add tomatoes, kidney beans and salsa, and bring to a boil over high heat. Let boil a minute, then reduce heat to medium/low and simmer for 10-15 minutes.

Nutrition info: 235 calories, 5g fiber, 8g fat; 4.5 Weight Watchers Points

Two Point Tacos
a subtle variation

Scoop 1/4c of the chili into a taco shell. Eat.

Nutrition info: 120 calories, 2g fiber, 5g fat; 2 Weight Watchers Points

Grilled cheese. Mmmmm. Nothing quite like it on a rainy Sunday afternoon beside a bowl of hot soup. Or a night when mom doesn’t feel like really cooking. Crispy, gooey, warm, always fresh, eternally comforting, grilled cheeses are truly an amazing thing.

But what if I told you it could BETTER?! Yes, you heard it, better than you remember. This was Dano’s claim upon our first rainy Sunday together, and I’m all like “psh, yeah right, dude.” But he was right. The secret?

Spices. This is my traditional grilled cheese spice mix: salt, pepper, paprika, oregano, basil and just a smidge of cayenne pepper. And what’s more, the spices add enough savour that you can make this with just a teaspoon of margarine (for the whole thing) . . .

. . . some light bread . . .

. . . and fat free cheese singles. I have a feeling a few people are going to call for my foodie resignation, but those people have not had these sammiches! You don’t have to make this light; my first experience was with thick-cut cheddar, a meaty and flavourful whole-grain bread and lots of butter. It was certainly delightful. Make your grilled cheese your favourite way, but the spices are key.

Now, there is a method to the spices. All your leafy spices go on one slice, and all your powdery ones on the other.

Take your knife and pretend you’re spreading more butter/margarine on there to smear all the spices in real good-like. Check out your fridge for any miscellaneous vegetables you might like on there and chop them up pretty finely. This will prevent you from burning your lips on a length of onion that drew out some damn hot cheese with it. I always use onions, tomatoes, fresh basil if I have it, and just a single slice of ham. Be generous, you’re making a sammich here!

And then you construct your perfect grilled cheese on medium-hot. I think the picture says it all.

Btw, that black stuff on there is actually purple basil. I like to let my cheese cook veerrryyy slooowwwwlllyyy. You don’t have to do that. I think I just like watching it.

Now no squishing with your spatula, okay? Flip!

And once it’s all melty like that, you are ready to eat! Serve as one does grilled cheese.

I like to try all kinds of different mixes of things depending on what I’m eating for bread at the time and what I’m in the mood for. So with sandwich-sliced raisin bread I’ll use sage, basil, cinnamon, chili powder. With a wheat bread maybe I’ll try mace instead of cayenne. You see? Whatever you like in food, you’ll probably like on your grilled cheese. Except garlic powder, that has never quite worked out for me!

Grilled cheeses. Totally omonom.

Dano’s Gourmet Grilled Cheeses
highly adaptable to your liking

2 slices bread of your choice
Margarine or butter to your liking
2 slices cheese of your choice
Sliced onions, tomatoes, avocado, basil, cilantro, parsley, green/red peppers, ham, turkey, or whatever else tasty and sammich-able is in your fridge
Spices! (again, I use a generous pinch each of basil, oregano, paprika, salt & pepper, and then a tiny little amount of cayenne pepper) Also works well is chili powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, pre-made spice mixes, Tony Chachere’s, whatever’s in your spice rack.

Sprinkle your leafy spices on one slice of buttered bread, and your powdery spices on the other. Smear both sides good with your knife, just don’t get too overzealous and tear the bread.

Craft your grilled cheese over medium to medium-high heat, stacking one ingredient at a time onto the pan. Heat up some soup, keep an eye on the cheese, and enjoy when it’s all ready.

This is the next recipe in my Family Cookbook series. This one comes from my little sister Sarah, but is actually one of my all-time favourites. When I got my first apartment in college, I also got my very first cookbook from UNH Health Services, and what do you know, it’s now online. Get the entire thing here: Good Eats! Quick & Easy Food for Busy College Students.

I love this cookbook because it’s very health-conscious in addition to focusing on budget. I would recommend it to anyone who has never really cooked for themselves, and I myself use recipes from it regularly. I’d have to say it’s the only cookbook from which I’ve made most of the recipes.

This one in particular is just wonderful. I’m still amazed at how such a simple concoction can bring joy into my life over and over again without making me fat (and oh my god it has so much fiber in it). And it only takes about 20 minutes to make. It is also extremely amendable: you can add chicken, leave out the feta, leave out the pasta, throw in other veggies you have. But really, all you need is a can of tomatoes, a can of cannellini beans, garlic, 10 oz of fresh spinach and some pasta.

Sautee your garlic on low then throw in your canned stuff. The tomatoes ought not be drained, but the cannellini need to be rinsed.

And if you didn’t use the Italian seasoned tomatoes, generously empty your spice cabinet in there (basil, oregano, kosher salt, pepper). Even if you did use the Italian stuff, you’re going to want some salt in there.

While that’s simmering, you have plenty of time to break the stems off your spinach and rinse it. And unless you used baby spinach, you really want to break off those stems, you’ll thank yourself later on.

Now it’s been about ten minutes, and you want to throw your spinach in there.

Stir that up just until the spinach wilts. In fact, the less cooked the spinach is, the better this is going to taste, so leave it on low while you stir that in. It should only take a minute or so to be done.

You *were* cooking your pasta all the while, correct? I also include this shot as a measure of what 2 oz of penne (1 serving) looks like cooked. As a frame of reference, that bowl is exactly a cup. Needless to say, it will not be 2 oz once it’s cooked.

Now top with feta, if you’re doing that, and voila! A twenty-minute dinner that’s incredible in every way. I usually leave out the feta, but since B’Garah loves her cheese, I had to include it for the picture. It also makes the shot a little more attractive.

And that’s all she wrote.

Mediterranean Pasta
Adapted from the UNH Good Eats! Cookbook

1 tbsp olive oil
4 cloves garlic, minced or finely chopped
1-28 oz can diced tomatoes (use whole peeled if you’re leaving out the pasta)
1-14 oz can cannellini (also called white kidney beans and similar to Navy or Great Northern Beans)
1 tbsp dried basil leaves
1 tbsp dried oregano leaves
1 tbsp kosher salt
black pepper to taste
10 oz fresh spinach, stems removed
4-8 oz cooked penne (I like the Smart Taste brand best)

First, set your water to boil, and cook pasta when it’s there (which will be at some point in the middle of all this).

Sautee the garlic in the oil in a nice big pot on low for about a minute. Enter tomatoes, beans and spices. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and let simmer, uncovered, for ten minutes while you de-stem your spinach. Now throw in the spinach and stir until it’s just wilted.

Serve atop pasta (this is a very small amount of pasta called for, there will be considerably more sauce than pasta), with feta if so desired.

Serves 4.

NOTES:
* Use a big pot because the spinach starts out really fluffy and this will give you space to stir without getting the spinach all over your stove.
* Don’t start heating your oil until the garlic is minced/chopped and ready to go, or you’ll end up with nasty bitter burnt garlic.
* Consider serving sans pasta. In this case, use the whole peeled tomatoes.
* It really doesn’t need the feta and it doesn’t need much pasta either. Honest. The spinach gets this buttery texture to it that eliminates the need for extra fat/flavour.